Boob Jobs
by MakeshiftParadox
Summary: Shepard asks Liara a simple question, gets no definite answer, and they have a little bit of fun in Shepard's quarters, followed by Shepard having a heart attack, leaving no one behind to stop the Reapers (Not really.) Obviously femslash. Takes place during ME3. Oneshot.


Beware, amateur smut ahead, and jokes about boobs and other such things.

* * *

"Hey, Liara?" Shepard asked, addressing the asari laying across her lap, reading a datapad. The commander had been absent-mindedly playing an extranet game over her omni-tool, growling slightly whenever her team took a loss. She was currently in the game match lobby, awaiting a connection to another map.

"Yes, Shepard?" Liara answered, her breathless voice sounding even farther away, her mind preoccupied with silently doing calculations. She was arranging the amount of resources she would have to accumulate using her Shadow Broker influence.

"There's something that's always been bothering me, ever since I helped you kill the last Shadow Broker..." the human hesitated, obviously about to ask a question that might offend her lover.

"What is it, love?"

"Um, you've got to promise.. that you won't hit me with your biotics or anything when I ask you. Okay?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Well, it seems customary amongst human women to harm, physically, anyone who dares ask them this question."

"What is the question, Shepard?"

"Did you get a boob job?" the commander suddenly blurted out, shielding her face with her hands, no matter what little practical good her defense maneuver could actually do.

"What? Let me make sure my translator didn't glitch.. _a boob job?_" Liara narrowed her eyes at the woman above her, obviously clueless as to what she was talking about.

"Yeah, a boob job." Shepard continued after she saw that Liara genuinely had no idea what she was insinuating, "Breast augmentation?"

It didn't ring a bell.

"Uh, it's a surgical procedure, which apparently only human women get, that can increase the size of your, uh.. breasts. Artificially."

"Why would you ask if I've had that procedure done?"

"Well..." Shepard shut off her omni-tool and yawned, trying to stall the inevitable conversation. She knew Liara wouldn't let go of it once she brought it up. The asari was just obsessive like that. "I noticed.. that your breasts had gotten bigger since the last time we were.. intimate, on the old Normandy. Not that I'm complaining!" The commander purposefully looked at her bondmate's breasts, her curves accentuated by the white and blue combat suit she was wearing.

"Not that you're complaining?" Liara sat up to meet her lover in the eye, and rose an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Shepard gave her a lopsided smirk, one that showcased that large dimple on the human's left cheek that Liara loved to admire. _You humans are so unique looking!_ "Definitely not complaining," Shepard said when Liara's body pushed flush to hers, their lips connecting.

The asari softly bit the human's lower lip, and gripped tightly at her waist. She changed her position so that she was now straddling the commander, gasping when she felt Shepard's hands move to take a new residence upon her ass.

"Goddess..." Liara softly moaned. Shepard was delighted in the positive turn this previously awkward conversation had taken.

"Here, get up, Lili." Shepard swiftly helped the asari up, guiding her into a new position in the middle of the commanding officer's bed. "See? Isn't this better than that smelly old sofa?"

"It's only smelly because of the things we've done on there," Liara whispered.

"Oh? Funny," Shepard chuckled, "my funny little violet."

Shepard sat up on the bed, pulling her grey N7 sweater over her head, throwing it onto the counter, almost knocking over her picture of Liara in the process. She moved her hand downwards to unbutton her jeans when her bondmate swiftly slapped her fingers away.

"No, let me."

The asari's nimble fingers quickly removed the garment, moving back up to make quick work of the commander's bra.

"Uh unh. Your turn." She deftly discarded the maiden's armour, her usually stoic face burning with lust when she came to reveal her lover's brilliant blue skin.

"Why am I _always_ the first to get naked?"

"I dunno," said Shepard absent-mindedly, still mesmerized. "You just put yourself in these kinds of situations. It's crazy."

Their lips united again, Shepard placing her hands on her bondmate's hips, the asari placing her arms around the commander's neck. Liara's tongue ran swiftly across the soldier's lower lip, signalling for Shepard to let her in. Her request was met, their kiss deepening. Shepard relocated her mouth to another location, running it along the asari's neck, down to her chest. The asari gasped as Shepard took one of her nipples into her mouth. The human placed a hand on Liara's other breast, softly squeezing the violet-colored nub between her fingers.

This continued for a few minutes, until Shepard moved farther down the information broker's body, her tongue tracing a trail as she went. Finally, she arrived at her long awaited destination. Shepard placed a hand on each of the asari's thighs, gently spreading them apart. Another moan escaped Liara's mouth. The commander continued on her journey, kissing her partner's inner thighs, smiling as she heard the sounds coming from the asari. She loved knowing that she had this kind of power over one of the most powerful (as in resourceful) women in the galaxy. A most graceful, diplomatic, and wise asari, and she had one right here, in the palm of her hand. Literally.

Liara's hips shifted, seeking more pressure from the commander's hand.

"Fuck, Lili, you're soaking wet," Shepard smirked.

"Goddess, Shepard. Just do it," Liara groaned.

"Do what?" She slowly entered the asari with one finger, her smirk deepening the more discomfort she saw enter LIara's face.

"Stop playing games, Shepard. You know wha- Ah..." she moaned again.

"Wha- ah? What, Liara? I can't provide what you need if you won't talk to me." The commander added another a finger, slowly curving them as she thrusted in and out.

Liara gripped Shepard's shoulders, her eyes shifting from blue to a dark obsidian.

"Oh, I see..." The commander's pace quickened, and Liara began breathing more rapidly in turn.

"Goddess. Ah! Goddess!" Liara began moaning, louder and louder, until Shepard finally cut her off with a kiss. The human decided to add another finger, hoping that she wouldn't end up hurting her bondmate. There was virtually no resistance, Liara's breathing starting to hitch, her moans reverberating quicker and quicker.

"Do it, Lili. i know you want to."

"Ah! Embrace eternity!" She entered Shepard's mind. The human's actions were amplified, making the climax more and more eminent. She feel the commander's mounting lust, her small insecurity, hoping that she wasn't hurting her partner. Shepard could feel Liara's overwhelming love for her, her hope for their future, her worry over the upcoming war, which was all caked on top of her lust, which was threatening to overtake her at any second.

The climax was like an explosion, Shepard felt like she see the visual of a bursting star, like the entire Universe was collapsing down upon itself, but reforming simultaneously. She wished that her orgasms were this.. substantial.

Finally, they returned to the Captain's Quarters, a sweaty heap on top of the bed.

"So, did you?" Shepard asked, breathing heavily.

"Did I, what?" Liara responded, her breathing just as erratic.

"Get a boob job?"

"No!" Liara frowned.

"Then how did your boobs get so big?"

"What is it that you humans call them? Boobs?" Shepard nodded. "I did not get a _boob job_, as you say."

"Again, then how did your boobs magically grow over the period of two years? I'm pretty sure you already finished puberty, or at least I hope. I don't want other asari to see me as some kind of cradle-robbing pedophile."

"You're not a pedophile." Liara gave a smirk of her own, "I'm pregnant."

There was a loud thud as Shepard hit the ground, her knees falling against her chest.

"You can't be serious... Liara, you're just joking, right?"

"I'm going to take a shower, Shepard. Goodnight, sweetheart." Liara left the bed and entered Shepard's bathroom.

...

"Liara!"

"What, Shepard?!"

"You were playing, right? Right?"

* * *

There that goes. This was my first time writing smut, so any criticism would be welcome. Any overused adjectives? Jacked-up pacing? Unrealistic actions? TBH, I don't have that much first hand experience with other girls, when it comes to this, so any help would be great. This was just a test to see if I could write smutty stuff before I threw some into my main Liara/Shep story, Parts & Labor.

Disclaimer: Mass Effect and its characters belong to the all-mighty (not really) Bioware and EA, the (totally not) benevolent savior of all gaming franchises, like, ever.


End file.
